The 5 Worst Types of Fliers
I'm not usually a very picky traveler until I'm sat next to an individual that I would classify as one of the five worst types of flyers. It's at that point that I start to get annoyed because, let's face it, I'm gonna be spending the next few hours next to that person and I couldn't think of a worse way to spend my time. You may agree with some of these labels and you may not; these are just my own versions of a personal hell, even if they're not yours! 😉
Those that take your seat
"Oh is this your seat?" Why yes, yes it is. In fact, it's been my seat since I booked my ticket months ago. And if you weren't sure, it's even printed on my boarding pass, just as yours is. There is perhaps nothing more annoying than that person that thinks they can just sneak into another seat completely unnoticed. If your goal is to find a good, empty seat, perhaps try waiting until everyone else has boarded so you can scope out the terrain as one of the last passengers to embark. And if there aren't any prime spots available, then just take your seat - not someone else's.
The first-timers
Look, I get it - flying can be scary, especially when it's your first time! However, I will very quickly go from patient and empathetic to intolerable if a first-timer cannot seem to accept the fact that they are, in fact, being propelled at a rate of 500 mph in an essentially hollow, metal death trap. I can understand getting the jitters at this realization but what I can't understand is why you'd think I'd be okay with you clasping my arm during takeoff or hyperventilating every time we hit turbulence.
There was one instance on my first flight abroad to London where someone repeatedly badgered me about what it was like to be on a plane and how I managed to stay calm, to which I gave all the proper responses (breathe, chew gum, snort a Valium, etc.). However, after about 15 minutes of this consistent pestering, I asked them if they'd seen Final Destination (2000). They hesitantly answered yes. "Good, it's a lot like that." Voila! No more questions. While I don’t endorse instilling the fear of God in a novel flier, it certainly did the trick!
And once these first-timers have overcome their fear, they transition into fascination which is, in my opinion, much worse. They'll be constantly leaning over to look out the window or taking pictures every other second in order to memorialize the event. As we speak, I'm sitting next to a first-timer and I'm already weighing the pros and cons of throwing myself from the emergency exit.
The talkers
I'm all for a good conversation, but when I'm in the throes of doing something (or not doing something, like sleeping), I would really relish silence from my fellow travelers. Sometimes, though, you just can't avoid those non-stop talkers that want to know who you are, where you're going, and why, in which case, I always keep a pair of headphones or earplugs handy so that I can send the message of "Please, dear God, stop talking to me" without actually having to say that.
The peekers
It's understandable that airline companies strive for fitting as many people into a tightly-packed space for profit reasons but what that means for travelers is that you can't do anything in private without someone riding shotgun to your activities. Not that you need immense privacy during a flight (unless porn is involved, which is… a weird thing to be watching on a plane), but it would be nice to be able to watch a film on your computer without feeling like you need to tilt the screen so the person in the next seat over can stop rubbernecking in order to see. If you didn't bring something to keep you busy for the few hours you'll be on the plane, then you're just lazy and I have a strict no-sharing-my-computer-screen-with-lazy-people policy.
Group travelers
There was this one flight where I was going from Paris to New York and about 30% of the passengers were members of a biker gang. They were incredibly rowdy and, by rowdy, I mean there were sing-alongs... LOTS of sing-alongs. I would otherwise be impressed by 7 hours of singing if it didn't mean 7 hours that I wouldn't be able to sleep because I was privy to every line of AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long." And they did shake me… ALL. NIGHT. LONG. It's not even the singing that annoyed me the most, it was the fact that the whole gang thought that the other passengers wouldn't mind it.
At this point, you've probably come across at least one of these characterizations and thought "Oh my gosh, I'm right there with you, sister." Or maybe you haven't! If I'm missing a crucial traveling faux pas, tell me about it in the comment section below! I want to know what others find to be their travel pet peeves because God knows I've god plenty.